My First Week Without a Scale

Tonight is the night!  My first week without a scale.  I can honestly say that I have NO earthly clue what my weight is.  I'm anticipating a little bit of a loss, because I have done better this week.  I haven't counted my points to the tee--but I know that I've been within 5 points every day since Monday.  Removing the scale was the best decision that I could've made at this point in my journey.  I've always used it to keep me in line--and a lot of the time it has worked.  Recently, however, I've been using the stagnant number to justify eating things I shouldn't eat.  At that point--it's time to say bye bye bye.  I've been quite a bit more conscious of everything that I've eaten this week.

Know what's funny?  Is that I wear the exact same thing to my weigh in every week, but now it's cold, so I have to add at least 1/2 pound because you know, jeans weigh more than shorts.  I'm such a rigid person sometimes.  I like the controls to be the same in my experiments--because then I know it's "true"  Some personalities may not understand that, and I even annoy myself. 

For Lunch I had taco bell--I ate 2 soft taco's and an order of steak taquito's with the guacamole.  I'd rather have just had 3 soft tacos and saved myself 4 points.  My lunch totaled 16 points, and has left me with 12 for the remainder of the day.  My extra 35 points start over today though, so I may use a few of them.  Im supposed to meet up with a friend after my meeting, and I'm hoping that she will see how good of a choice some mexican fajita's are!!  I swear I'm a fajita junky.  They're fairly  healthy if you don't eat a thousand tortilla's, and just limit yourself to a couple of bites of rice, or no rice at all.  12 tortilla chips with salsa is 3 points--not too bad.  I get 36 points a day. 

I've got lot's to do until it's time for my weigh in, so I'll check back in later taters.

The Beginning of the Journey

Ok.  So I have "started" the journey to weight loss at least a million times in my 32 years of life.  I have been overweight my entire life.  Really, I have.  I was born weighing 5lbs 11oz, but that didn't last long--and I never looked back!  I've always been the fat girl.  In elementary school I was made fun of profusely.  I wasn't THAT fat back then, but I thought I was, and other kids thought I was as well.  Any name you can think of that kids call fat kids--I was called.  I'm sure that somehow has an impact on who I am today.  I want that to be my past though.  Middle school was better, but I was still fat.  High school was a lot better as far as the teasing, but I didn't go to proms and homecomings and things like that, because of my weight.  I've never felt worthy of anyone, and sometimes I still don't.  I think that might be some of the issues I have with my relationships even today.  I can say that the two things I've always had going for me is being raised to know that no matter what, God loves me and I am His, and that my family loves me no matter what, and I am theirs. 

I will talk a little more about who I am later, but I've been married for almost 8 years to a wonderful man from Guatemala.  We have 3 boys ages 7, 3, and 7 months.  Josiah, Elias, and Malachi.  They are awesome.  Rowdy--for sure!! But awesome as they come.  My dad was in the military so I traveled when I was young, and somehow when I was 9, we ended up in Lexington, KY.  When I graduated high school I worked for a year and then moved to Columbus, OH to attend Bible College.  That was one of the best experiences of my life.  I sing, and I love it.  I write songs--and I need to learn how to copyright and publish them.  It's my heart and my passion.  I got married in 2002, had my first son in 2003, and then my husband and I moved back to Lexington in 2005.  It's so nice to have my family around!!  I'm the oldest of 3--me, my brother, and my sister--and yes, I tend to be bossy and think I know what's best for everyone, but it's just because I care:)

So anyway, there are so many things I've missed out on in my life all because of that nasty looking stuff called fat.  I've decided enough was enough a lot of times, but have still found myself in the same place.  I joined weight watchers back in August, and I've done ok, but not the best because I haven't 100% committed myself to the process.  I've lost 8lbs.  Not too shabby, and certainly better than gaining!!!  I want this blog to help others.  I know I can conquer this unhealthy lifestyle and find life, true life.  I owe it to myself first of all, but I owe it to my  husband and my children also.  They deserve to have the BEST mom and wife.  That is what this journey is all about.  I find myself angry so many times, and I believe a lot of it has to do with the fact that I'm not happy with who I am.  I don't want that to be my legacy.  So please people, follow me along my journey---I'm going to tell it like is--the daily struggles of being flat out fat.  The daily struggles of watching other people buy clothes that I cannot.  The daily struggle of wanting pizza for goodness sakes, but knowing it's not the best choice for me.  Join my in this journey.  I hope by the end I can call it the destination of a super happy woman!  I mean, I'm happy now, but I know there is so much more.

I will keep you informed on my measurements and my weigh ins.  I will have my weigh ins on Thursday's or Saturdays depending on the week.  I will post my first measurements and weight tomorrow.  I think my weight is at 252 right now, but I told my husband to hide my scale--and hid did.  Booo!!! lol  This journey has started, but you'll get the first real update tomorrow.  I will also be uploading some pictures for your viewing pleasure!! God Bless!