Wednesday, November 17, 2010

The Beginning of the Journey

Ok.  So I have "started" the journey to weight loss at least a million times in my 32 years of life.  I have been overweight my entire life.  Really, I have.  I was born weighing 5lbs 11oz, but that didn't last long--and I never looked back!  I've always been the fat girl.  In elementary school I was made fun of profusely.  I wasn't THAT fat back then, but I thought I was, and other kids thought I was as well.  Any name you can think of that kids call fat kids--I was called.  I'm sure that somehow has an impact on who I am today.  I want that to be my past though.  Middle school was better, but I was still fat.  High school was a lot better as far as the teasing, but I didn't go to proms and homecomings and things like that, because of my weight.  I've never felt worthy of anyone, and sometimes I still don't.  I think that might be some of the issues I have with my relationships even today.  I can say that the two things I've always had going for me is being raised to know that no matter what, God loves me and I am His, and that my family loves me no matter what, and I am theirs. 

I will talk a little more about who I am later, but I've been married for almost 8 years to a wonderful man from Guatemala.  We have 3 boys ages 7, 3, and 7 months.  Josiah, Elias, and Malachi.  They are awesome.  Rowdy--for sure!! But awesome as they come.  My dad was in the military so I traveled when I was young, and somehow when I was 9, we ended up in Lexington, KY.  When I graduated high school I worked for a year and then moved to Columbus, OH to attend Bible College.  That was one of the best experiences of my life.  I sing, and I love it.  I write songs--and I need to learn how to copyright and publish them.  It's my heart and my passion.  I got married in 2002, had my first son in 2003, and then my husband and I moved back to Lexington in 2005.  It's so nice to have my family around!!  I'm the oldest of 3--me, my brother, and my sister--and yes, I tend to be bossy and think I know what's best for everyone, but it's just because I care:)

So anyway, there are so many things I've missed out on in my life all because of that nasty looking stuff called fat.  I've decided enough was enough a lot of times, but have still found myself in the same place.  I joined weight watchers back in August, and I've done ok, but not the best because I haven't 100% committed myself to the process.  I've lost 8lbs.  Not too shabby, and certainly better than gaining!!!  I want this blog to help others.  I know I can conquer this unhealthy lifestyle and find life, true life.  I owe it to myself first of all, but I owe it to my  husband and my children also.  They deserve to have the BEST mom and wife.  That is what this journey is all about.  I find myself angry so many times, and I believe a lot of it has to do with the fact that I'm not happy with who I am.  I don't want that to be my legacy.  So please people, follow me along my journey---I'm going to tell it like is--the daily struggles of being flat out fat.  The daily struggles of watching other people buy clothes that I cannot.  The daily struggle of wanting pizza for goodness sakes, but knowing it's not the best choice for me.  Join my in this journey.  I hope by the end I can call it the destination of a super happy woman!  I mean, I'm happy now, but I know there is so much more.

I will keep you informed on my measurements and my weigh ins.  I will have my weigh ins on Thursday's or Saturdays depending on the week.  I will post my first measurements and weight tomorrow.  I think my weight is at 252 right now, but I told my husband to hide my scale--and hid did.  Booo!!! lol  This journey has started, but you'll get the first real update tomorrow.  I will also be uploading some pictures for your viewing pleasure!! God Bless!

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